From Overheard in the Office (http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/008289.html):
Writer: You know what I think? I think Jerry Lewis wakes up every morning just scared out of his mind that they'll actually find a cure for muscular dystrophy.

Scottsdale, Arizona

Another from Overheard in New York City (http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019132.html):

NYC Rules Require at Least One Person to Drop the F-Bomb

Hot hippie chick: Excuse me, you need a hand?
Old blind man: Nah, I'm just getting to the n train. Thanks so much, though!
Hot hippie chick: Alright, you have a great day!
Blind man: Same to you!
Overlooking suit to friend: Nice New Yorkers...they just blow my mind.

--Union Square Subway Station

Blind man: Alright, man, I'll see ya tomorrow.
Friend: You won't see nothing, you're blind!
Blind man: Shut up!

--23rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard (http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019910.html) by: Amanda

Girl #1: And then the interviewer asked me, "if you were on a deserted island with five handicapped people, what would you do to get off?" I was like "I don't know. We're screwed."
Girl #2: Wow.
Girl #1: Seriously. We would be screwed. I would just sit under a palm tree and pray or make smoke signals or something.
Girl #2: Yeah, I don't know what I would do either.
Girl #1: Well at least she said my answer was funny. Then she told me about the time she asked that question to some girl. Her response was that she would take all the people who had Down syndrome and use them as a raft to float to safety.

--Washington Square Park

Overheard by: James (http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020171.html)

Here's another, this one a collection of New Yorkers dropping the r-bomb inappropriately:

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020332.html

Man to friend: It's like that time I saw two women on walkers making out. I love New York!

--45th & 10th

Overheard by: Drunk
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020387.html

Blind lady #1: Hey there honey, how have you been?
Blind lady #2: I've been good.
Blind lady #3: Where were you last week? I didn't see you at the meeting!

--23rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Adam
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020537.html

Sometimes, Wednesday Uses One-Liners As a Crutch

Man in shorts on cell: Well, I think what happened is he lost his pinky because of the forklift. But that's not the point of this conversation, let's talk about me here.

--186th St & Bennet Ave

Overheard by: Rina

Girl: And she's so awkward on crutches, it's so annoying!

--Grand Central

Overheard by: MR T

Guy on cell: So he tried to kill a roach and broke his knee, and that's why he's on crutches for the rest of summer.

--Union Square


Blueberry salesman, as woman in crutches hobbles past: You hoppin', but you ain't stoppin'!

--Greenmarket

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021240.html

Midget handing out fliers: Who likes comedy? (to man in striped shirt) Hey, do you like comedy? I like striped shirts, let's work something out here!
(man keeps walking)
Midget, yelling after him: No wonder your wife doesn't love you!

--Union Square Subway

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021291.html

Guy to group of friends: Hey, you guys ever watch that video in health ed, of disabled people having sex? It was upsetting.
--Columbia University

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021663.html

Woman on crutches: People think I'm talking on one of those Bluetooth-headphone-cell phones. Nah. I'm just talking to myself. Pfft! I ain't got no cell phone! I just talk to myself! That's right!

--Food Stamp Office, 14th St

Overheard by: Erica Schreiner

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021717.html

Guy to friend: Yes, Braille... It's for the deaf people.

--The Met

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022092.html

Lawyer on phone: You know Bob* in the development office, the bald guy with the peg leg? Man, I am always having these Freudian slips around him that are so inappropriate. Like one time, we were talking about girls and he came in and I asked "what about you, Bob, are you a leg man?"

Huntington, New York

Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/011195.html (http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/)

Teen girl: Don't you like how my bracelet matches my shirt?
Boyfriend: Are you serious? They don't match.
Teen girl: Yes they do! What's wrong with you?
Boyfriend: I'm color blind.

--L Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022286.html

Son to mom: I have this new kid in my class and the teacher said he is autistic. Where do autistic people come from?
Mom: Autistic chickens, they ate an autistic chicken when he was younger and out he came, out and autistic.

--W Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022348.html

R-bomb one-liners, for consenting adults:
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022571.html

Counselor #1: I have to work with autistic kids.
Counselor #2: You mean you have to learn sign language?
Counselor #1: No... They can speak.

--Queens College
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022708.html

Woman on bus to child with large hearing aid: Sit down properly! Are you listening to me?

--M23 Bus
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022721.html

Hipster teenage girl: Holy crap, there's a midget! I love seeing midgets in the city. I always text my friends and say "there's a midget following me!"

--Central Park

Woman on cell: You and me can't eat twice. Midgets can eat twice. (pause) And babies can eat twice too!

--5th Ave & 10th St

Overheard by: Kody

Theater teacher: Even though he was under four feet and she was over six feet, it wasn't that weird. I mean, that scene with the deep kissing, when the whole crew is watching, that was kind of... hot. (pause) No, no, I mean, I wasn't sitting there being like, "wow, this midget really turns me on!" I don't go on giantess. Come in my spare time...
--Hunter College High School

Sexy guy: Don't pretend you've never wondered what it would look like to see midgets make 600 chocolate casino dice.

--Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ladle

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022776.html

Young woman to old woman with walker: They're excellent! But they're fifteen dollars.
Old woman with walker, straightening up: For one sandwich?!

--Houston St

Overheard by: Stephie [/URL][url]http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022812.html (javascript:Vote('22812','8761695f993921d14735a000 42e52f4a');)

Old man: Let me ask you something. When you see a person in a wheelchair or on crutches, do you feel bad for them?
Teenage boy: Um... I guess, yeah.
Old man: You shouldn't, because they don't feel sorry for you.
Teenage boy: Oh. Thank you.

--Brooklyn Heights

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022822.html

Man #1, pointing to hobo with Down's Syndrome: Hey, that's that one guy from that tv show...
Man #2: Who? That bum?
Man #1: Yeah, that's that whatsits--that Corky guy. Y'know, with the mongoloid syndrome.
Man #2: Wow...


--Houston & Varick

Overheard by: Houston Lunch [/URL][url]http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022867.html (javascript:Vote('22867','8761695f993921d14735a000 42e52f4a');)

College girl #1: I mean, if I saw a person seizing in the middle of the street, I probably wouldn't help them.
College girl #2: Yeah, I wouldn't know what to do.
College girl #1: She said that because of her first aid class, she knew to put him in a safety position, but I don't even know what that means! I mean, if a person is having a seizure, I don't think any position is very safe for them...

--Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Scarlett

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022890.html

Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people?

--ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: jennyooooo
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022926.html

Promoter: Are you ladies interested in a comedy show tonight?
Girl: Not tonight.
Promoter: Ya know, that's called "bipolar." They have pills for that.

--Times Square
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/022920.html

Impossibly old lady in wheelchair: That's too bad. I don't like to stroll; I like to have a destination.
Caregiver lady pushing wheelchair: Where would you like to go, then?
Impossibly old lady in wheelchair: Bed!

--Prospect Park

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/023005.html

Man: It's just frustrating walking behind really slow people.
Woman: He was handicapped!
Man: It's still frustrating.

--21st St & Park Ave

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/023053.html

Teen to friend: They said it wouldn't be fair for me to fight her cause she ain't got no fingers.

--Outside Erasmus High School

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/023079.html

Legally blind patient: Ow! Owww, owwww! Hey, you can't do this to me! Where's the doctor?
Man in white coat: I am the doctor.

Hospital
Manhattan, New York

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/012031.html

Training teacher: So, what are some things that you guys think are covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act?
Male teen student: Obesity?
Training teacher, with blank stare: Um, I don't think so. Anyone else?
Female teen student: How about being an old person?
Training teacher: Oooooooh boy. How about we just take a look at this slide up here...

Duane Reade Career Center
Manhattan, New York
http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/012235.html

Spicy Latina: I was in the airport last week and this guy refused to take off his bag. Refused!
Ghetto man: What kinda bag was it? Backpack? Fanny pack?
Spicy Latina: I don't know what you call it. Himostomy? Hermostomy? He was a guy, so I guess its himostomy. Anyway, I don't blame him. I wouldn't want anyone patting down my bag of pee either!
Ghetto man: Mmm-hmm!

--Downtown R Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/023659.html

Walkathon girl to girl on bike requesting she moves out of the bike lane: This is for diabetes! You better watch your ****in' mouth!

--Brooklyn Bridge

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/023669.html

Short homey on crutches: Yo, ah don' know how to read either, but ah got mah college degree!

--Fulton Mall, Brooklyn

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/023717.html

Girlfriend: You see that building over there that says "The New School"?
Boyfriend: What's The New School?
Girlfriend: It's that building over there, the one that says "Parsons" in the window?
Boyfriend: What's "Parsons"?
Girlfriend: Parsons is The New School.
Boyfriend: Oh, Parsons... That's the school for the blind, right?

--5th Ave & 13th St

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/023929.html

Middle-aged suit on cell: Yeah... Well, I don't know. (pause) Doesn't she have Alzheimer's? (pause) I don't care if she's your mother. (pause) Yeah, well, maybe she shouldn't be trading your stocks, then.

Manhattan, New York

http://www.overheardeverywhere.com/archives/009216.html

70-something mother: He got his legs blown off and his arm cut off in the war.
30-something son: Which war?
70-something mother: The last one.
30-something son: Mom, he's in his late 60s.
70-something mother: So?

--Crossbay Boulevard & 163rd St

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/024147.html

Physically fit 30-something Puerto Rican man: Hey, can you just give me a dollar?
Blind Dominican guy: I'm sorry man, if I had it I would give it to you.

--44th St & Lexington

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/024405.html

Girl on cell: Hey, Jim...Yeah I'm on the bus. We're at 8th Street, but they're loading a cripple on, so I'm going to be late....I know!

Later in the ride...

Girl on cell: Hey, Jimmy...Yeah, now they're unloading the cripple. You guys should just start eating. I know! Didn't people used to be housebound? Don't they do that anymore?

--B63 bus, Park Slope

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/006532.html

Short man: So, my therapist told me to take off my clothes and look into the mirror.
Tall woman: Why?
Short man: To confront my inner midget.
Tall woman: Your inner what?
Short man: Midget.
Tall woman: Don't you think that's potentially offensive to midgets?
Short man: Why? Some people are paranoid, some are neurotic, some are short.

--Tea Lounge, 7th Ave & 10th St, Park Slope
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/010737.html

Girl on cell, smiling and laughing: Maybe because he's a cripple!

--Pavilion Movie Theater

Overheard by: Jamie F

Yuppie woman on cell and pushing empty wheelchair: Honey, guess what? I'm not a paraplegic anymore! No, seriously! Isn't that great?!

--12th & 3rd

Jersey chick to friend, after denying deaf panhandler: I mean, if he were missing a limb or something, that would be one thing...

--NJT train from Penn Station

Overheard by: gotta draw the line somewhere

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/009428.html

Chick #1 overlooking the Women's Wheelchair finals: Are they over there playing tennis in wheelchairs?
Chick #2: Yeah, I think they are.
Chick #1: Oh, please, you know they're pushing those chairs with their feet.

--US Open, Queens

Overheard by: Working on my backhand

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/008399.html

Kid, as blind woman passes by: You know why you should never jump a blind person?
Friend: Why?
Kid: One, they could fight back like Daredevil. Two, it's just cruel. And three, you can't hit 'em in the face 'cause they're used to it. All fallin' down the stairs all the time...

--6th Ave & Spring St

Overheard by: connor

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/007968.html

Chick: What does that mean, that the movie has subtitles? Isn't it in English?
Cashier: Yes, it's in English, but it has subtitles for the disabled.
Chick: So it's for the illiterate or something?

--Regal Cinemas, Union Square


http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/007012.html

Man: You know, there was this electric wheelchair woman, she saw the bus coming and like, zipped right in front of us so we couldn't get on.
Bus driver: Yeah man, they're fast, those electric ones.
Man: Yeah.
Bus driver: And vicious.

--M15 bus downtown


Overheard by: running late for work


http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/005935.html

Guy #1: So when I started telling him my feelings on the Iraq war, he rolled over to me in his wheelchair and started cursing me out. He was going on about his time in Vietnam and how there are things about war I'll never understand.
Guy #2: That sucks.
Guy #1: I was like, "Whoa. You're my shrink! I'm paying you to listen to me!"
Guy #2: Seriously.
Guy #1: Well, at least the co-pay was only $15. But anyway, I'm definitely not going back to him.

--Von, Bleecker & Elizabeth

Overheard by: Blondie


http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/005875.html

Blind man: Anyone wanna give up a seat for a blind man? Any seats for a blind man on the subway?

A woman gives up her seat.

Suit: Man, I have got to try that one.

--2 train


Overheard by: Julia Giolzetti



http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/005201.html

Girl #1: ...so he'd just sit in the back of the room jerking off and nobody could say anything because he was special.
Girl #2: Let me get this straight: he couldn't control his motorized wheelchair but he could beat off?
Girl #1: Where there's a will there's a way.

--Tisch School of the Arts, Broadway & Waverly


Overheard by: D



http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/003479.html

Man: Can I buy a $2 subway card?
Booth lady: You have to use the machine.
Man: Can't you help me? I only have one arm.

--1st Avenue station


Overheard by: Jorge Montano


http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/003318.html

Hipster guy #1: Did you hear about the brain dead woman who had a baby?
Hipster guy #2: Whoa. Why'd she do that?

--1st Avenue & 9th Street


http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/002396.html

Another "r word" post for consenting adults, but it might be worth your time as it's an example of the clever wordplay people with Down Syndrome are capable of:

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/001719.html

Girl to guy: Yeah... My sister's autistic, so we went to Disney World a lot...

--Soho

Overheard by: Benf


Girl: I just hate the subway, it's so dirty!
Guy: I know. And today, there were these twelve deaf kids on the subway with me, and I had to listen to them making those annoying noises all the way to 52nd st.
Girl: Oh my god, that's the worst!

--Wagner College Shuttle